Retrying Valentine's Day

“Valentine’s Day is stupid and I'll tell you why when I see you. But, it is. And more importantly - it only hurts people. It doesn't make anyone feel great or even... special, like they tell you it’s suppose to do. That is why I don't celebrate it. I don't celebrate a day that makes so many people feel like shit.”

I wrote that to my significant other one year ago. Today, I stand by the sentiment but perhaps not by the conclusion. To be honest, I was angry at how many people in my life were hurting over a ridiculous holiday. As we celebrate it today, of course Val-Day makes everyone feel like shit – it is a day that has been built up to great heights on a foundation of nothing. And it has nothing to do with being single or in a relationship – no matter what, you have a good chance of disappointment if you are expecting anything on Val-Day. But I don’t mean to just complain, and I really don’t think any Valentine’s boycott helps anyone.

Instead, I’d like to offer a suggestion: use Valentine’s as a day of reflection and evaluation. Instead of expecting anything from anyone else, take the day to look back on the past year of YOUR life. I know that self reflection can be a difficult task, but I believe that it can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life.

Some points you may want to start with (on a Valentine’s themed reflection):

• Who did you love this year? Why did you love? How did you love?
• What did you want from the person that you loved? What did you expect and what did you get?
• What did this person want from you? What did he/she receive from you?
• Do you feel that there have been fair exchanges in the relationship(s) that you’ve had? How so?
• Can you point to examples in your life of role models of what you want or do not want?
• From a year ago today, do you feel like you are harder, better, faster, stronger?

And, always remember: I choo-choo-choose you.